So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
