remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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