This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
