i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
