C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
