when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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