Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
is wine microwaveable?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Bring me that man meat
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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