I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
