who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I just googled if crying burns calories
We just shotgunned beers for America
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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