Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
