I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I have aggressive nipples.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
