is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
