This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
