A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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