3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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