all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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