You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize