can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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