I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
