Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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