Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
