i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
