my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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