Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
