Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
