ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
