She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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