HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Life is so much better after having sex.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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