we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
