just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
