I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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