I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
