But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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