My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize