his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
