There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
