she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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