One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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