If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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