I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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