I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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