Im at strip club and am horny
Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
its liver damage thursday
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
