My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize