Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
my phone needs a breathalizer
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
