I wish I only lived at night.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize