I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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