I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
