last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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