He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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