I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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