i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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