is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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