OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
