So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I seem to have left my pride at pride
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
