today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
