VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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