Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I deserve this hangover.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
