i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
