i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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