If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
