I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
